Piedras Negras, Mexico

It is a border town across from Eagle Pass, Texas where many Americans companies manufacture goods such as car engines and seat belts. Most are employed for $5 a day in these factories but costs of items are no cheaper than here. So many go without health care and other needs. Women make a priority of cooking and watching the kids. A common story is that the husbands are in America or in jail. Health is not a priority. Things that are simple to manage here such as diabetes and high blood pressure are not even a priority there. They are aware that the problem exists but do not realize the long term ramifications of not seeking help. We often had to reduce the final outcome for them: your kids will not have a mother. This got them.

The most poignant patient I saw all week was on Monday. A 74 year old man came in on a crutch and with a cowboy hat on. He leaned in close and talked directly to me like a loving grandfather. He wore a smile on his face. He was interested in me even though we were there to talk about him. He was gentile. He was warm and friendly and happy. He made me want to spend time with him. He came in because he was having problems with his eyes, he had difficulty seeing. After a physical exam of his eyes, we determined that he had cataracts. One eye was completely obliterated and the other was just starting. The problem was that in his "good eye" his optic nerve was atrophying. It was dying and there was nothing we could do about it. We had no meds. No surgery available. That is all I could tell him.

Cataracts are easy to fix here. Not so in Piedras Negras Mexico where food is the daily priority. This man was going to go blind and there was nothing we could do for him. I had to tell him exactly that through a translator. I was numb. Who am I to deliver such news? A student. A stranger who could not even be there to support him tomorrow. One simple sentence from me and his future is changed. All I could do was pray for him which I did, but I have never felt like something was so inadequate. I was numb. He got up and cried and I didn’t know what to do. I vaguely understood that I ruined his day, his happiness, his everything in one sentence. He was going to have to go home and tell his wife this news. He walked out on his crutch, cowboy hat in his hand. His happiness so readily apparent before, now nowhere to be seen. I sat back down, helpless, and called for the next patient.

Now, I sit here and cry. I could not even show this man compassion in the moment he needed it because I was so stunned at the pronouncement. I am now a thousand miles away and cannot even go back and apologize, check in on him, help him in some way, any way. I am ashamed at how easy it was to deliver this bad news. All I can do is pray for him, his wife, and for me to not miss another opportunity to love someone better next time this happens.